22014
05 Mar 14 at 4 pm

frozendailydose:

disneysnowprincess:

disneyismyescape:

Kristen Bell’s best impression of a french accent (x)

PERF.

"DO YOU WANNOO BUILD A SNOOMAN?"

(via ethano1)

tags: jerome  omg 
 125053
17 Feb 14 at 7 pm

dutchster:

aduhm:

ionahi:

THIS IS HOW I KNOW I AM MARRYING THE RIGHT MAN OMFG HE CAME HOME AND JUST GAVE THIS TO ME AND I AM CRYING BC HE KNOWS ME SO WELL OMG SOMEBODY HELP

your man just got away with getting you a 4 dollar gift. I want you to love yourself gurl

so just because it cost 4 dollars means he doesn’t love her? clearly she fucking loves nuggets so this was a really sweet gesture. and you have no idea what else they did/gave after. but who are you to define what makes somebody else happy anyway

(via common0courtesy)

 506834
11 Feb 14 at 11 am

sallyintheskywithdiamonds:

ketamineprojection:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY IS

RUSSELL HOWARD

(Source: starbuckara, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

 32322
01 Feb 14 at 12 pm

stewo:

This still makes me laugh so much OMG lololol

(Source: regularguyz)

tags: hahahaha  omg  tom 
 78477
30 Jan 14 at 11 am

what’s a fire and how does it - how do you say burn?

(Source: faithfulapollo, via religiousmother)

tags: hahahaha  omg  im creyin 

what’s a fire and how does it - how do you say burn?
 500228
23 Dec 13 at 4 pm

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via atouchofdestiny)

step 8!! hahaha (via letstakedrugsandcuddle)

(Source: internmarlee, via ambermccrackin)

tags: step eight  omg  hahah  wow 

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."

"How to Spoon"
(1439807) plays
 208489
14 Dec 13 at 1 am
tags: hahahaha  omg  why  what  how 

blue-author:

commanderbishoujo:

kamidoodles:

andrewscottsstupidface:

dark-driger:

bethmai:

go to vogue.co.uk and type (on your keyboard) up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and watch what happens when you keep pressing A

WHAT

wHY

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE

Clever girl.

(Source: moaninglisasmile, via bubonickitten)